Sunday, October 9, 2016

Scarier and more entertaining than the financial collapse of Parma schools: Shock Around the Clock in Columbus Oct. 15-16

Yes, Clevelanders are feeling really on a roll lately, with the Cavaliers championship and the Indians winning and the Lake Erie Monsters winning and the whole city not turning into a burnt-out ruin of a disgrace with this summer’s RNC. So what is my philosophy?

GET OUT NOW! GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN!

You just know, with Cleveland luck, that once the region is lulled into a false sense of security something awful will come along and knock the city off its shiny new little plaster pedestal.

Perhaps all those looters headed for the Republican Convention who got delayed in lines with the TSA will finally land at Hopkins and ravage the entire downtown (catching police and first-responders unprepared/drinking at their favorite sports bars).

Perhaps the sheer mathematical magnitude of the Browns losses will create a dimensional shift in quantum time-space continuums, inducing a black hole that swallows large parts of the lakefront. Or the city’s cash reserves. At least that’s the excuse offered by sticky-fingered local officials, suddenly driving shiny new Teslas.

Perhaps LeBron will go back to Florida; now that the place is trashed by hurricanes, real-estate is going super-cheap and he can buy up the entire state this time.


In any case, where to hide out during the next wave of Cleveland business fourth-quarter layoff announcements, or town tax increases or whatever? I’ve got a day trip for you.

In association with the longstanding 24 Hour Ohio Science Fiction Marathon, the venerable Drexel art-house cinema in Columbus is hosting their eight annual Shock Around the Clock 24 Hour Ohio Horror Marathon. Yes, some folks will say every day in Ohio is a 24 hour horror marathon, but this one proves it.

Nonstop attractions include the Danish early-sound classic VAMPYR, now with a live musical enhancement to the mostly non-verbal, misty visuals. The Drexel will also re-animate the lesbian vampire drama adapted from Whitley Strieber, THE HUNGER, shown as a tribute to supporting actor David Bowie. Ohio premieres include a new gore-splatter comedies NIGHT OF SOMETHING STRANGE and BEYOND THE GATES (the latter with filmmakers in attendance) and the ostensibly serious foreign import WE ARE THE FLESH.

There will also be HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH, the notoriously ill-fated one-off entry in the “Halloween” series that had nothing to do with Michael Myers whatsoever (perhaps its only good move), the late Ohio terror master Wes Craven’s THE PEOPLE UNDER THE STAIRS, a classic gothic Roger Corman/Vincent Price Poe collaboration TOMB OF LIGEA, and a rare, insane, vintage Hong Kong kung-fu supernatural actioner BOXER’S OMEN, back from the era well before Jackie Chan and CROUCHING TIGER, HIDDEN DRAGON made Cantonese chopsocky pictures fairly respectable.

Plus there will be trailers, shorts, a costume contest with a $100 prize (more money than the Parma schools seem to have at the moment), competitive screaming and more Halloween fun.

The fun starts at noon on Saturday and winds up approximately the same time on Sunday. Admission at the door costs $45, with tickets available in advance for $40. The Drexel is located at in Columbus at 2254 E. Main St. For more information go online to http://scifimarathon.com/Horror/index.html.

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