[THE
ABCS OF DEATH
opens in Cleveland on Friday March 15th exclusively at the Capitol
Theatre.]
Review by Bob Ignizio
26
directors from around the world were each given a letter of the
alphabet and asked to make a short vignette depicting a form of death
that starts with said letter. The results were compiled into a
depressing piece of garbage called THE
ABCS OF DEATH that
I wasted
slightly over 2 hours watching, and I'm not wasting any more of my
time writing a review.
That's
what I wanted to write, anyway, but I guess I owe you readers a
little more than that. Basically what we have here is the horror
movie version of “Ow, My Balls” from Mike Judge's increasingly
prescient IDIOCRACY.
If you're at least 18 years old, but still have the mentality of a 12
year old who thinks that dead baby jokes are the height of edginess
and hilarity, you'll probably love this. Anyone else should probably
take a pass.
As
bad as the overall viewing experience is, a few segments do stand out here
and there. Thomas Malling's homage to Tex Avery ,“H if for
Hydro-Electric Diffusion”, displays some creativity and talent, and
Michael Sarmiento's “D is for Dogfight” makes good use of visual
storytelling and offers a satisfying surprise ending. It also manages
to be brutal without wallowing in gore, and actually feels like it
has a point to it. The rest of the segments are mostly just throwaway
gross-outs, some intended to elicit laughs, some trying for a grim
seriousness, and all doing their best
to be as disgusting as they can. And then there are a handful of
shorts that are just so vile and mean spirited I nearly quit
watching. But I soldiered on, for what it was worth, and that wasn't
much. 1 out of 4 stars.
"Ow! My balls!" LOL at that one. Perhaps the distributors of this cheese can brag that it at least has "electrolytes."
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