[PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES screens Friday April 13th at the CWRU Film Society, Strosacker Auditorium.]
Review by Pete Roche
PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES was better the first time out, when it was called INDIANA JONES AND THE LAST CRUSADE. As with the third JONES film, the action in STRANGER TIDES centers on a multinational race to find an enchanted McGuffin that’ll render its bearer immortal. There’s even a “wrong cup” drinking climax.
Review by Pete Roche
PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES was better the first time out, when it was called INDIANA JONES AND THE LAST CRUSADE. As with the third JONES film, the action in STRANGER TIDES centers on a multinational race to find an enchanted McGuffin that’ll render its bearer immortal. There’s even a “wrong cup” drinking climax.
The
third sequel to the lucrative Disney franchise finds our favorite
seafaring, mascara mutineer Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) bullied
into joining his sometime-girlfriend Angelica (Penelope Cruz) on a
search for the Fountain of Youth at the behest of her voodoo-villain
father, Edward “Blackbeard” Teach (Ian McShane). Blackbeard wants a
swig of the magic water because some fortune teller somewhere predicted
that a one-legged man will kill him soon. Hey, an ounce of prevention….
Jack’s
on again-off again adversary Hector Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) returns as
a privateer in the royal court of King George II. He learns clues
about the fountain’s location after Jack makes a swashbuckling escape
from London with his jailed first mate,
Gibbs (Kevin McNally). So when a Spanish armada sets out to preserve
Ponce de Leon’s legacy, Barbossa and the British navy give chase.
Ah,
but Barbossa hasn’t gone completely civilized; the crusty captain has
his own reasons for catching up with the Spaniards—and with Jack, who is
reduced to swabbing the deck of Blackbeard’s flame-throwing ship Queen Anne’s Revenge in between flirtations and fights with Angie.
The quest for the grail…er, fountain is perilous—even when the entourage converges upon the breathtakingly panoramic Hawaiian island of Kauai. There’s snakes, poisonous toads, zombies, and ill-tempered mermaids (who hiss like the vampires from I AM LEGEND).
And while the tale is loosely based on a book by Tim Powers, the
glimpse of de Leon’s moldering corpse recalls the Francisco de Orellana
crypt scene in the most recent INDIANA JONES adventure.
Replacing trilogy director Gore Verbinski, Rob Marshall (MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA)
substitutes the romance of now-absent Will and Elizabeth with
playful—if pointless—innuendo between Jack and Angelica. It’s hard
deciding which long-haired brunette is prettier—Jack or his female foil
(at one point, it’s impossible
to distinguish between them). They’re both stubborn and equally
skilled with a blade, and while they have true regard for each other’s
safety, they just can’t commit emotionally. Oh, and there’s also a love
connection between a mermaid and a missionary, who find common ground
as Blackbeard’s reluctant guests.
PIRATES
aficionados will enjoy this latest chapter. Depp is a dandy buccaneer
indeed, and his bold, opportunistic Jack will keep diehards from missing
Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley. The competently executed—if not
cinematically memorable—stunts include a carriage chase, lighthouse
skirmish, and tropical cliff-jump. The 3D is applied to the usual
elongated (phallic) objects, i.e. swords-in-faces. And Hans Zimmer’s
score (buoyed by some fetching flamenco) is appropriately sprightly.
But the franchise is in danger of capsizing. The latest installment is a
merry romp—but (literally) lopes on a peg-leg for many of its 140
minutes. Youngsters will marvel at Jack and the hearty Arghs but won’t comprehend much. 2 ½ out of 4 stars.
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